As a new year begins we often write, speak or imagine our resolutions for this time of change. A resolution can be grand and difficult to achieve or it can be basic, but either way the concept of setting a new resolve can be one that for many people sets us up for failure.
As a therapist and coach I used to think, I should help my clients set small achievable goals that they can feel good about accomplishing and that will allow for greater mastery and build self worth. But here is the problem with this concept, If the goal is not challenging enough where is the sense of mastery? If the goal is too challenging, it is easy to get discouraged. So we have a goldilocks complex, how do we find the “just right”? How do we push ourselves to achieve greatness, without burning out by January 15th?
The secret lies in the balance. Each year, I decide on something in each area of my life I want to improve upon. My physical health/fitness, my family life, my friends and social connections, education and work life. For me, and many, this is the “just right”, we have been seeking, and here is why.
As human beings we seek connection, isolation is a symptom of depression and lack of connection creates a context where we feel a ‘lack of’, and as a result we put that ‘lack’ out into the world. Out of this ‘lacking mentality’ arises desire, comparison and compensation through material goods. Thus begins the cycle of not having enough, being in debt and attracting more negative cash flow. Sounding familiar?
Quality connection with family and friends results in increased production of feel good neurotransmitters, increase in BDNF and improvement in overall wellbeing. Spending as little as 1 hour per week talking with a friend of family member that is supportive, up lifting and positive can improve your mood, stress level and physical health.
With positive connections comes inspiration. Inspiration can take on many forms and can be the fuel that moves you through this year with grace, strength and abundance. It is this motivation that allows me to grow my business, take on new challenges, get back to basics on my health and live an overall prosperous life.
So really your resolution is up to you, are you going to sit comfortably inside your comfort zone this year and give up soda or swearing? Or are you going to push yourself and have the opportunity to see what you are made of, the strength? Do you have the resolve to push through the hard times? To push past the dessert tray, to get off the couch and go to yoga, to reconnect and become clear about what is important? After all a new year is all about new beginnings, so how will you challenge yourself and your loved ones to grow in 2017?